Thursday, April 3, 2008

better buy some axles.

when i was young and played the now infamous "oregon trail" on a computer smaller than my cat, i never did make it to oregon. not once. the problem was that i didn't know what wagon axles were so i figured i didn't need them.

one of the most common mistakes in oregon trail happens whilst hunting. and by "one of the most common mistakes" i mean "three of the most common mistakes." sure, you can use 96 bullets trying to mow down the fastest rabbits (and squirrels) in the west. you can even use the classic spin in a circle move in which you shoot bullets in every direction. nice one, because now you are out of bullets and you will starve in four days. other mistakes include wasting bullets on 18 buffalo and only being able to carry 200lbs. of meat back with you. my other classic faux pas (outside of wagon axles) was not buying food and believing i could survive on the trail by hunting. WRONG.

you better pay that toll. i'm not kidding. floating, forging, rafting...all bad news.

yep. told ya so.

told ya so again.

dysentery, thieves in the night, starvation, drownings, BROKEN WAGON AXLES, thirsty oxen, inclement weather...the list goes on and on. the trail is a rough one my friend. it shows no mercy. type in the names of people you like the least in your life and maybe it will make the trail a little bit easier. happy travelin'.

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