Sunday, March 30, 2008

ninja warrior is the american broadcast version of the japanese tv show sasuke.  it features 4 incredible obstacle courses that defy all reason.  my family once went to a dude ranch and i was forced to compete in what i thought was the most grueling obstacle course of all time.  i had to crawl through sand, run through waist high water with arguably high currents, blow up an inner tube (good because i had exercise-induced asthma), and then at the end eat a packet of tartar sauce (which i promptly threw up at the finish line).  anyway, that experience was like sitting on a hammock made of kitten fur compared to the ferociousness that is ninja warrior.

ninja warrior is also great because if the ridiculous obstacles don't ruin you, the razor-tongue of the japanese wit will.  every mention of your appearance, day job, hobbies, etc. will be used to ridicule you.  you should not be fat if you go on ninja warrior.  srrsly, here is your warning.  dont be fat and go on ninja warrior.

go go go! should you make it through these walls angled at 45 degrees you've only got 5 or 6 more obstacles to go, including a giant rolling log you must cling to (be careful it drops at random points to jar you).

apparently out of every 100 competitors in the first round, 85 are ELIMINATED.  there are usually only one or two people who actually make it to the final round every year. 

so insane.  this is how international diplomacy should be practiced.  whoever can get their ass to the finish line of ninja warrior obviously deserves global domination.


Anonymous said...

haha thanks so much for doing a ninja warrior post!


you're doing it wrong. said...

yes no problem. how could i not?!

Anonymous said...

Random comment:

Ninja Warrior is awesome. I think you overestimate how many make it through the first round, though.